
Max Gawryla, Trustee and Demogod at VoNCon, gives his thoughts on why learning a game shouldn't be something to worry about
Since my post last week, I've been giving more thought to the intersection between learning and gaming, specifically with regards to the social aspect of learning a new game.
I stand by those opinions, but when discussing these thoughts with a friend, they brought up an interesting point. Although my favourite part of a game may be learning the intricacies and pulling levers to discover the working mechanics, this act of diving into an unknown puzzle is exactly the reason they find gaming intimidating. I believe this intimidation and discomfort doesn't stem from not wanting to play, but rather from excluding ourselves because of social worries and feeling like we won't fit in at the table.
This week's short post can be seen as a follow-up to my post last week discussing why I love to learn by playing, and how VoNCon can help you get in on the fun.
Case in point
There’s a short sketch on YouTube by a creator called ProZD. In it, he’s teaching the game Codenames. If you aren’t familiar, Codenames is about as simple as modern board games get. The rules normally take maybe ninety seconds to explain but in it, he’s constantly interrupted with arguments about why the other person doesn’t understand. That reaction is common in board games; it isn't about intelligence, and it isn't really about Codenames. It's about how brains process anything unfamiliar, and it's worth understanding, because it's the actual obstacle worth removing.
Your working memory - the part of your brain juggling new information in the moment - can only hold about four pieces of new information at once. When someone explains a set of rules to you out loud, every single rule is a brand-new, disconnected fact competing for that same small bit of space. This is a real, measurable limit, and it's also why experienced players don't actually learn faster than anyone else - they've just already built mental shortcuts from every other game they've played.
A gamer hearing "it's a team-based, word-association, deduction game where you're guessing which words your teammate means" has half-learned it before a single card is flipped, because they've already got folders in their head for each of those categories. Someone who's never played anything like it has to build that folder and fill it at the same time, live, in front of other people. That's a genuinely heavier task - not a sign that they're bad at this.
Before the game even starts
All of the above takes place before the game even starts or before you factor in the social side of things.
Learning a game is rarely a private activity. It's a room full of people watching you get something wrong, out loud, in real time. Worrying about looking slow or silly in front of others isn't a personality flaw - it's an entirely normal, near-universal reaction to being watched and judged in the moment, and every rule and every turn is another small, low-stakes-but-still-real chance for exactly that to happen. It's a very different kind of vulnerable than quietly misreading a paragraph on your own with no one else in the room.
So when someone who already loves a game says "just give it a try, you'll pick it up," they mean well, but they're skipping the actual hard part. They're not being dishonest, they've just forgotten what it felt like to not already have the folder. Telling someone the water's fine doesn't help much if you're not the one being asked to jump in without a life vest.
We've written before about why your brain treats uncertainty itself as a threat: this is the same instinct, just triggered by an unfamiliar rulebook instead of an unfamiliar room.
That's exactly the gap VoNCon exists to close. You don't need to have read the rulebook cover to cover before you sit down at our tables. We don’t expect you to read the rules. You don't need to already know what you're doing, and nobody here is going to make you feel like you should. We've got people ready to walk you through a game at whatever pace makes sense for you, reframe a confusing rule in a way that actually clicks, and let you learn a system the way it's meant to be learned: by playing it, with people who are just glad to have you there.
About the author
Max Gawryla is a Trustee at VoNCon, leading our outreach and fundraising events. He also volunteers as a Demogod at VoNCon's gaming sessions on the first Saturday of the month at Bryncoch Community Centre.
Please add a comment below or contact Max through info@voncon.org to discuss his post.
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